Three Things I Wish I'd Known Before Becoming a Work-at-Home Mom

Being a work-at-home mom is the dream for many women because they assume it's the best of both worlds- and it is- but it's also so much more. Here are three things I wish I knew before jumping into the wild life of being a work-at-home mom.

Background: I've been a work-at-home mom (WAHM) for my entire mom life (18 years). I did it by writing and doing social media management for companies.

#1 You're not really living the stay-at-home mom life.

I wish I'd known that being a work-at-home mom is very different from being a stay-at-home mom who isn't working. When you have a job, you have obligations and can't run out of the house for a playdate without thinking twice or making sure all your work is done first.

There's an element of stress and pressure that your stay-at-home mom friends might not understand. You're home, yes, but you also work. You get the perks of being with your children, but it was hard for me to reconcile the constant work stress I also felt. My days weren't quite as free as the average stay-at-home moms. I had to make my peace with that and be grateful that I'd found a way to be at home while working.

#2 Your home may not be as spotless as a typical stay-at-home mom.

Being a work-at-home mom means you're constantly going back and forth between home and work tasks. Whether you have infants or school-aged children, it means that time you'd spend at home cleaning (if you were just a stay-at-home mom), you probably spend that time working. If you have toddlers or kids in the age 4-7 range at home because you're homeschooling- well, there will be days your living room looks like a tornado hit it.

There were some conference calls that I only got through because I put out a messy construction paper craft for my kids. Sometimes I let them play with playdough and every acessory in the kitchen drawers (forks, spoons, cheese graters) while writing. By the time I was done, there was dry playdough, wet playdough, and playdough covered tools everywhere.

I learned to go with the flow, enjoy the season we were in, and know that I'd have time to clean it up later. Often, after they went to bed.

#3 People might not understand you.

This includes family. To the world, you seem like a stay-at-home mom. To your working friends and family, you don't seem like you work at all. To your stay-at-home mom friends, you might seem uptight or preoccupied.

Being a work-at-home mom is a really in-between type of life where you don't fit into a clean-cut category. You're home, so a friend might not understand why you can't grab a coffee with them.

Your spouse may not understand why you're so tired because after all, you were "home all day." You. may have to sit down with the people closest to you and give them a true explanation of what your life is like. Going back and forth between motherhood and work is tiring. It's not an easy thing to wear multiple hats.

Being understood by the people closest to you and letting them know you need compassion and help, is crucial. Don't try to be superwoman.

If you can afford to get childcare and support, get it. I was a single mom for a lot of my work-at-home mom life and couldn't. I had no choice but to make it work and I did (with God's help), but it wasn't easy. I found there were very few who understood what I was going through, but I was happy that I go to be there for my kids when they needed me and take care of myself.

I would read Psalms like Psalm 121 for comfort. "I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come from? My help comes from God, who made heaven and earth." Even when I felt surrounded by moms who had so much help while I had very little in terms of people, I knew I wasn't alone. Neither are you.

Know this: You're doing your best. Your kids will only remember how much fun they had with you. And they do eventually grow up and out so take pictures of them in your mind to keep in your heart. You will indeed look back on this and smile one day.

love, Bunmi

*Forgive any typos. I'm still just a mom doing her best!